just a game
by gedatsu-kitteh
Summary: Sonic and Shadow have been playing this game far too long. It's time to stop dancing around the issue and face reality. But can they handle it? Sonadow.


"The Game"

By Gedatsu-kitteh

"How did this happen?"

Fire coursed their bodies as they both stood only millimeters apart, both had weapons pressed against each others sweating brows, trembling fingers locked around the triggers. He could feel the other's moist ragged breath on his cheek, he could see the moon reflecting in his soul piercing eyes.

"_Your people don't care about you! They hate you. I bet if I were to kill you right now no one would care. …I bet they wouldn't even notice."_

This had gone on for too long, it was all one big circle, both of them immediately falling into pattern after pattern after repetitive pattern. It was familiar; it was security. They'd put their everything into this, into each other, and the outside world was now a foreign place- a dreamland where they no longer could belong.

He answered in his head silently. _I don't know. _

"_Then kill me already. Or are you too afraid?" _

They were the only ones here in this little world they both built, both to escape the same monster, both tied together by strings indestructible… and they hated it. They hated that the only refuge they had was within each other, indulging in this fantasy of cat and mouse, of fire, adrenaline and hatred, forever to be playing this game that had once been real, before this eerie fog that had somehow settled between their minds, forcing them now to think twice before they strike each other, before all they had dissolved between them, before their peoples' betrayal..

"_Ha! Fear has nothing to do with it, where would all the fun be in killing you now? You know I love to watch you suffer…don't look like that, I know you want me dead as well, I know you want me to suffer."_

Betrayal.

Their own people had abandoned them, abused their undying loyalty and left them here to rot in each other's carcasses for all eternity. The only ones who had remained loyal to them, kept their promises were each other. They had sworn their undying hatred for each other… They both became sick to their stomachs when they began to discover… even _that_ was becoming unreliable; a far off memory fading and blurring into so many others.

"_No, I just want you to STOP. And I will do __anything__ that I need to do if it means getting you to just __stop__."_

"How did this happen?"

"_Is that a promise? Please, stop lying. Besides …__**we're more alike than you think**__."_

They would never say love. Never. They would rather die before the thought even crossed their minds. And yet slowly they were dying inside, losing every bit of firm ground they once had walked on every time they felt a little bit of the hatred they hold so dearly for each other evaporate into thin air.

"_What I want is truth and righteousness, I want to save everyone, what you want is sick! It's evil and selfish! How could you even compare the two of us?! It's insulting."_

…_please please please please please please…_

"_Selfish? Oh, so you're the hero in this story? You're doing this for selfless reasons? You want to save all those who mock you and call you crazy, because you LOVE them? PLEASE, if you believe me to be that stupid I think I'm the one who should feel insulted. You don't think I know how much you want me turned into the authorities, how much you want me poked and prodded and ripped apart while I still breathe, how much you want the whole world to recognize your efforts for just once; …how much you want to be the hero but never will. You don't want it for them, you want it for yourself. …Ha, me, selfish? You and your humans, you know nothing of loyalty and respect. What kind of planet is this anyway, disregarding their soul defender? Honestly, I don't know what makes you think they're even worth the effort."_

_This_; this _thing_ that had been happening to them, all the loss, the suffering and the need that was pulling them together like an inescapable magnetic pull; it scared them. It scared them more then banishment, than pain, than betrayal- it scared them more than death.

"_You're wrong. …you're always wrong! You're just doing this to hurt me!"_

Shaking fingers ghosted his cheek and he drew back jerking slightly, breathing hard. He felt an ominous black cloud above their heads, whatever it was that was going to happen would not be good.

"_Oh believe me… __everything__ I do, I do to hurt __you__."_

He crept closer. His heart beat a mile a minute.

…_please leave please leave please leave…_

"What happened to us…?" It was whispered hotly into his ear. Tensely, he swallowed back a flaming ball of fire in his throat.

"_Speak to me, what's wrong with you? You stupid piece of flesh!! ANSWER!!!"_

_It was only a game…_

"…_ugh… look at you, wallowing in self pity! So weak …Disgusting!! You don't deserve to have me as your enemy!!! You don't deserve anything!! You always fought them!! ALWAYS!! So fight this now!!"_

_You __**know**__ it was real…_

He looked hurt. Disappointed. It made him shiver. He was hurt as well. Why was he doing this? Why couldn't he admit?

"Look… maybe this was nothing to you, but it was _everything_ to me." The way that was said… somehow it had gripped his poor heart and squeezed, hurting him. This was hurting him!

"…_Are you even listening to me?!?! WAKE UP!! You can't do this to me!! You never gave up, never! How could you do this you insulting putrid waste of space!"_

…_I know I know I know…_

"It was everything I ever lived for!! I lived for this!! All I ever thought about was stopping you- it was what I was meant to do! You don't understand that I can't stop! I can't let go… this is who I am… I, I can't lose myself, I don't have anything left, please I can't lose this…" It was desperate, it wasn't real. It _couldn't_ be real.

"_You can't go! I won't let you! You're mine, do you hear that!?!?! You're mine!!! You will always be mine and I won't let you go!! I can't let you go!!!"_

…_**Don' **__t do this to me…_

"_I will kill you. You know I wouldn't even need to think twice! I hate you and I've always hated you. Every night I dream of you bloody carcass ripped to shreds across my floor!! I won't let you take that away from me, you always fought for me so fight for me now!!! FIGHT! __**FIGHT!!**__"_

Why was it so easy for him? It's already GONE, it's OVER. This was too much; it was too close; they were _**too close**_And for the first time that night he spoke:

"I'm leaving."

"_I swear I'll do it, I've always dreamed of doing it!! If you choose to live in a world that does not include me then you shall not live at ALL YOU TREACHEROUS LITTLE- WE ARE ENEMIES!! WE ARE SUPOSED TO FIGHT! HOW CAN I FIGHT IF YOU DO NOT RESPOND??!! HOW?! HOW CAN I??!! I __**CAN'T! I**__ CAN'T DO IT! I CAN'T DO IT BY MYSELF!! YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME YOU ARE MY ENEMY, YOU ARE MINE!! YOU ARE MY-"_

He saw the fear flood into those eyes, the desperation, the helplessness; it all bled through into his own soul, and in a split second he saw the whole world fall apart. He felt earthquakes spread all through out his body. He felt sick, he felt tired; he felt like he was going to die.

"NO NO!! You can't go!! I need… I…" His eyes were so wide, so white; they looked like the moon.

"… _you are my… you… only… my… can't…by myself… I, I…" _

His breath caught.

_You can't let him say it. Don't let him SAY it!!_

Suddenly he rose to his feet, looming over his adversary, burning unforgiving holes into his eyes. "Get out of my house." It was spoken low and deadly. From here on there were no more mediocre threats.

"No please! Wait!" He lifted a hand, a pathetic cry for mercy.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! __**I HATE YOU **__**IHATEYOU!!!!!!**__"_

"OUT, OUT, OUT!!!" He roared as the other refused to scramble to their feet and instead knelt cowering like an animal fresh for the slaughter.

They were falling apart. Unraveling like bandages revealing open wounds. It was so simple when they just hated each other, but like a dream it all that abhorrence was inevitably slipping away through their fingers. What did that make them? What were they now?

He felt something hot spill down his cheeks. He felt his legs go weak and heard someone wailing. It took him a minute to realize that it was himself. Everything was spilling over after being bottled up for so long. Their souls had been stripped of all their armor, naked, vulnerable… **broken. **They were broken, sick and unfixable. There was nothing left to lose. And so with a pathetic whimper his legs gave way and he tumbled forward plummeting into his adversary on the floor. They lay like that for a while, mourning the loss of the only thing they had left; the only thing they shared.

They were the same now.

His eyes opened. Sunlight. He shifted slightly and felt white hot pain shoot through his body. He squeezed his eyes shut as his teeth tore at his bottom lip, trying to stifle the cries of pain. He breathed in deeply and felt something next to him brush his arm. Slowly, trying to avoid bouts of pain, he turned his head. He felt himself release a sigh of relief he hadn't known he'd been holding.

"Heh… told you… I'd… kill you someday…" A warm nostalgic smile spread across his blood splattered face.

"Yeah…" The sun seemed to suddenly become overwhelmingly bright, it engulf the scenery behind him, and spread out so beautifully on their skin, making them glow. "But I killed… you too."

He scoffed, turning his gaze away from the other. "I can't believe… it's a draw."

"I know. I thought… I'd win… for sure." Light sweet laughter, it sounded like a small child's.

He shoved his face with his palm playfully. "Shut up." The fierce competition was long gone, fading away like the sound of bells in the distance. It didn't matter anymore. Besides, what was worth winning when you'd already lost your heart.

They lay there in the silence for a while, thinking the same thoughts, beating the same dying heart beat. As they both registered the world becoming cold and the dark creeping in he felt fingers grab his hand.

"Do you still hate me?" He looked into the yes of the speaker, as if they were where he would find the answer. His brows were knitted closely together, looking imploringly up at him. He opened his mouth to say something, then after a moment of hesitation it closed. Those eyes pleaded.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally leaned in whispering. "…No."

His lids slipped a bit as he nodded his head and shuffled closer. "Don't leave me."

"…I won't."

"Is that a promise?"

A smirk and the world went black.

End.

A/N: I wrote this story I while back for invader zim. But it seemed to fit sonic and shadow well too, so I re-uploaded it into the sonic category.


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